27.2.09 | 7:09:00 PM

Saw a nice rainbow on Wednesday.(: subhanAllah

thanks jason & his bro for capturing it.(: haha!

| 11:37:00 AM

wednesday

didnt go work and went to polyclinic to get those painkillers.
i felt bad made the doctor wait for me as i went to al-khair for zuhur prayers first haha.
and i think he looked thru my medical history cos he even know whens my last attack.


Thursday

went for work with specs. and all the kids or even the teachers cnt recognise me.
only jaden noes. haha! and keep sticking on to me.
then, i think yesterday very problematic.
alot parents complain. & for stupid reasons. luckily i not involve.
hmm, then make them to sleep.
and ryan.. haiz! keep play2 with me. and keep repeating saying jiejie sorry and thank you.
and i feel very restless by then. so took temperature 38.1/39/38.2
in the end went off to see doctor again. i wonder how will jaden react, seeing that im gone. XD

bestiE! i love you haha~
she accompany me go doctor and send me home.
and temperature was around 38.8
the doctor shuai la. should have brought bestie in as well.
then, he still give me choices whether i want take blood test or not.
and what medicine i want.
cool XD
so got 2 days mc.
well, i think im feeling much2 better now. althou abit giddy and fainting sometimes.
yup, need to be strong. even if cnt be, act like one can le.~
hopefully tmr can go tmr event(:

i miss you

25.2.09 | 10:25:00 PM

when all different aspects of life gone down.
it seems worse now. trust, misunderstanding.
i hope, i still have strength to go on.
its not gay anymore. hais.
lachrymose.

24.2.09 | 10:49:00 PM

okay. im uber pressured!
should i / should i not?
I NEED YOU!

23.2.09 | 10:48:00 PM

SubhanAllah, today's sunset is nice(:

thankyou jason for capturing it for me.((:

hopefully, im going to watch one, one day insyaAllah. XD

| 9:30:00 PM

Monday started pink!
haha! so happy XD
shah keep disturbing me at work.

woots, today taught baby ryan stuffs.(:
he's pouting! and its damn cute~
he's saying sorry (shawy) whenever he snatch things / scratch people / push others around.
and hes saying thank you. whenever i gave him his milk bottle or water bottle.(:

oh yeah!
and today he gave me a very uber cute innocent face and held the farm animal book.
so, he sat on my lap and i teach him the different2 kinds of animals.
and, the first page was; canary & parrot.
he pointed and said; "Jie! BE-BIRD!"
i was so shock. haha cannot tahan laughing.

& one of my god bro in malaysia called me XD
so shocking. and he even send me an sms which seriously made my day.(:
cos, yeah. down.

Kalau rasa sedih,

pandanglah langit,

ingatlah Allah masih ada.

---

Kalau rasa resah,

renungilah dasar hati,

yakinlah Allah mencipta kesudahannya.

---

Kalau rasa tersisih,

lihatlah purnama di malam hari,

yakinlah Allah takkan biarkan kita sendirian mengahrungi cabaran hidup ini.

| 9:13:00 PM

The Neural Tripwire

Most intriguing for understanding the power of emotions in mental life are those moments of impassioned action that we later regret, once the dust has settled; the question is how we so easily become so irrational. Take, for example, a young woman who drove two hours to Boston to have brunch and spend the day with her boyfriend. During brunch, he gave her a present she'd be wanting for months, a hard-to-find art print brought back from Spain. But, her delight dissolved the moment she suggested that after brunch they go to a matinee of a movie she'd been wanting to see and her friend stunned her by saying he couldn't spend the day with her because he had softball practice. Hurt and incredulous, she got up in tears, left the cafe, and, on impulse, threw the print in the garbage can. Months later, recounting the incident, it's not walking out she regrets, but the loss of the print.

22.2.09 | 10:32:00 PM

went out with hayaya and her friend, shao ming~
haha. had loads fun. and tiring day.

keep walking at city hall area to and fro.
but, quite worth it.(:
yeap, only headache spoils my mood. but something else makes up for it XD

bought some clothes for work.
& cant wait to meet her aft work/ her school everyday as of tmr!
hope my week will start of gay~ hahaha!
i mean happy(:

tuesday, having some meeting. should i cab down or leave work earlier to get there on time?
what about prayer? omg~ loads to think bout and yeah, causing brain clench XD
and hopefully this friday the six of us can meet up.((:

oh yeah, went to harris at suntec.
found this book. hopefully they have it in library. else, gotta buy XD
haha. last nite, read the EQ book.. and fell asleep. not my fault, hahaha! the font size uber small and had to not wear specs / contacts else, degree go up for sure. & also cos, not used to read that kind (genre) of book. but, must READ haha! must force myself to XD

21.2.09 | 8:52:00 PM

C'mon babe~
wake up and move on!!

oh wells, missed today's accred and mentoring session.
went to library to get some books and did lots of research on early childhood & human psychology.(:

i should now focus more on my work and work towards it. haha!
im considering to take up their offer XD .

hmm, & should i adopt bunny.?

------------------

nothing else matters.

be it the silence persist.

she had understood.

20.2.09 | 7:41:00 PM

perhaps, i should just listen to my heart.
its my fault everything's turn out this way.
relapsing again.
im backing off, for now.

..randdy's dying. guess what's next?

| 12:32:00 AM

met bestie today(:
i love her ~ hahaha
well, brought her to secret place XD
should spent more time there one day.
& bring jacket too ahah~

kids were so guai today.(:
baby ryan was not there. so stucked with lee jun and jaden..
& i love them alot. haha~

---------------------------------------------------

the faith wont vanish,

she may seem running away,

for the best of you.

---

please dont think too much,

focus, just go with the flow,

she will still need you.

---

believe in yourself,

there's no point to be worried.

speak right from your heart.

---

its all about trust,

have confidence in yourself,

she's waiting for you.

---

18.2.09 | 10:10:00 PM

SubhanAllah, Today's sunset is nice.(:
& ive found all the answer. alhamdulillah XD

& im seriously, missing my kids.❤

16.2.09 | 10:14:00 PM

Thank god.(:
(yay,alhamdulillah haha~)

15.2.09 | 9:48:00 PM

Went out with hidayah!

i had a secret admirer reading my blog all this while hahaha!

i feel much much better after that long chat.

& everything seems so cool. hahaha~

Alhamdulillah XD

| 12:03:00 PM

yesterday, had FDC.
RRCY, dont be sad aites. you all have the experience now and do make this a stepping stone for all of you to work harder for future competitions.(:

marshal duty wasn't that bad either. leg still aching~ haha luckily got ogawa(:
then, went to meet bestie after her work and chat about loads stuff! haha~ and went home around 12.30am. was so tired. & im abit worried now
anyways, during fdc took pic. haha! not sure if i should upload here.?
and im missing my babies! haha~

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

segalanya terbina atas dasar mawadah.(:

Ya Allah,

jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasih-Mu,

jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepada-Mu.

Ya Allah,

jika Kau halalkan aku merindui kekasih-Mu,

jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan aku pada cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepada-Mu.

Ya Allah,

Engkau mengetahui bahwa hati-hati ini telah berhimpun dalam cinta pada-Mu,

telah berjumpa pada taat pada-Mu,

telah bersatu dalam dakwah pada-MU,

telah berpadu dalam membela syariat-Mu.

Kukuhkanlah ya Allah ikatannya.

Kekalkanlah cintanya.

Tunjukilah jalan-jalannya.

Penuhilah hati-hati ini dengan nur-Mu yang tiada pernah pudar.

Lapangkanlah dada-dada kami dengan limpahan keimanan kepada-Mu dan keindahan bertawakal di jalan-Mu....

12.2.09 | 11:54:00 PM

Today nearly kena caught and some just try to threaten me. but hahaha! i wont do it again okay.(: today had 11 kids. so far, i like jaden!, ryan!, wei zong! & Lee Jun (korean boy). damn cute!
yesterday & today in history, ryan did something to me. but hahaha! i dun mind the peeing but the other, its abit disturbing hahaha! must get myself use to this XD.!

well, today all were well behaved and slept right after milking and bathing. and, i realise one thing. they are all 18 months old. which means 1 1/2 years old~ so small yet so smart. sometimes when one of their baby friends cry, they will help take tissue and wipe and then together2 hold hand throw in rubbish bin. & whenever they fight, i will stop and tell them to say sorry, & they did followed by hugging of one another. hahaha cute right?!

Jaden with 'wateva' face. hahaha! XD

Rayn's innocent look when he said 'NO!'

ohoh XD!

weizong~ very difficult to take pic with him. futhermore, he got cute dimples when he smile~

Jaden learns to pout!

told you so. cute aye! XD

Baby ryan. the youngest!

Rayn. the oldest and rascal.(:

10.2.09 | 8:19:00 PM

Day2.

has both better and worse than day 1.
haha! day 1 i was assigned to playgroup1 (PG1)
they were so cute! as in, they will only cry but wont run around crazily.

today, helped Pao lao shi with PG2.
she only speaks mandarin. so does the kids.
thank god, i understand.
PG2 kids alot wanderers.
difficult to handle. i nearly gave up on them until i found sweets.
then all of them listen to me. hahaha!
they were giving me the desperate yet cute looks cos they really2 want sweets.
they were hyperactive lots. but i like one wander girl; wei cheng. everytime she say mama, she will come to me and hug.

then after solat and lunch i went to assist PG1. i love them!
when i came back from lunch, i saw Caden crying.
it was his day2. so quite new to environment.
then try appease him like i did on day 1 but to no avail.
in the end, bring him to the classroom where the rest of the 6 sleep.
he started wailing until i said, wheres the animals? hahaha!
then he found a whole basket of animal replicas and started telling me all the different2 animals.. in the end, tried to force him sleep, he doesnt want to. then we started singing songs. i could only remember twinkle2 little stars. then he asks me to sing old macdonald too. so cute!

then we sing and sing and sing, count numbers. until baby ryan lee wakes up. and say;"mama, baobao" which initially he wants me to carry him.
then i went to him and pat him to sleep but, he doesnt wants to. so i taught him a few hand gestures like, bye kiss. hahaha! and we start singing again. then almost all woke up and Caden who is suppose to sleep told everyone else "JIE JIE YAO NI MEN SHUI JIAO!" hahaha. Rayn woke up too and he is the rascal in the whole PG1. he will turn everything upside down.
whenever i ask him to do / not to do something, he will give me an uber cute look and say NO! cos he knows im a new teacher. so what i did was to teach him how to pout.

Me: Rayn, whenever jie jie say im upset, you must do okay. (pouts)
Rayn: (Pouts!)
hahaha! so whenever i call for him he will straight away pout and stop whatever he is doing. cute!!!
&, PG1 kids. whenever one cry all the other 7/8 will start crying~ so cool!

Last part of the day in childcare makes me think alot.
the principal and branch director was so surprised on how well i bonded with the kids and how much they love me haha! they initiated for me to sign on and they will sponsor diploma in early childhood and be a teacher there. its kinda far and i do have disagreements on how some of the teachers teach and treat the kids. well, kids have feelings too rite.. but seriously, should i?

9.2.09 | 11:17:00 PM

Day 1.
I LOVE the kids.

7.2.09 | 10:11:00 PM

Alhamdulillah(:
today, had mentoring session 4.
and i learn a new route to madrasah / masjid muhajirin~
yay! hahaha. not going to be lost anymore insyaAllah.

then, i went out to get some stuffs(:
and also followed my mum to relative's wedding.
so COOL!!!
their wedding reception is held in the middle of park around downtown area. very nice scenery~
haha. then the environment also very relaxing. haha~
and the place reminds me of Hort Park.
oh yeah~ my workplace is veryvery near hort park. i must go there with bestie one day.(:

& monday start working~
oh yeah! hahaha.

please, mean what you say.

to avoid things to go the wrong way.

don't fall in love with someone who you can live with;

fall in love with someone who you can't live without.

6.2.09 | 12:58:00 PM

Thank God.!
ive found a job haha. (:
& im very very happy!
BUT, now need to get a non-camera phone. well, they do provide pigeon holes but very mafan..
I hope that I will be able to survive there! haha. esp with the cute kids~

& once i reached home yesterday, dad reacted as per usual. but yeah! my sis defended me.((: haha. cos im the type that lazy to reason out and make a stand for myself especially when dealing with elders. well, sometimes they think that they are always right. so yeah, i decide to just keep quiet while sis make the talking for me hahahaha!

last nite, went for religious class.
hmm, didnt really learn much.. (:
cos, maybe my body was there but my mind was somewhere else.

im just thinking of why must history repeats itself..
i had a few friends who asks me about her recently.
& i just replied; if she keeps quiet, i will just be silent and enjoy the peace.. but if she start to try to be funny again, i will expose her true identity.
and speaking of the devil (which is her), everything starts again. all trusts between my family members are gone. well, i shall see how long her act can last.
and i lastly want to remind her, my acting skills is better and i can spell CELEBRATE!(:
haha. sound so evil XD

& with Allah's & your presence, i gain strength.

i must go thru this ordeal with lots of patience, insyaAllah.

3.2.09 | 9:51:00 PM

You make me smile when I am low.
You're just a pure delight.
We talk a lot about everything;
You make my life so bright!

You meant so much to me,
in fact, you really do.
from the bottom of my heart,
I am still in love with you.♥

2.2.09 | 12:35:00 AM

hmm, today had alpha outing at Vivo.
very few came, nevertheless it wasnt that bad either.(:
we had lunch and proceed to national geographic shop.!
so cool~ subha, me and huiying keep flipping books with pictures and smelling candles.
the guys did the same too i guess. hahaha!
then we went to watch changing of guards at istana.
veryvery cool!

then i headed to my aunt's place at woodlands.

alot of things happen and i know mentioning it here wont improve the situation.

perhaps, everything is written & theres a hikmah behind it.

& patience had brought me this far alhamdulillah.

anyways, i took the path which leads to RP. haha. reminisce...

its a longer way then usual.

& yeah, ive snapped some pics.(:

I grow stronger,

cos i know i have Allah & you.